I have had two different people recently tell me they feel like they are in a snow globe that is being turned upside down and shaken. Ironically, living in Vermont- especially this spring- I actually do live in a snow globe. But that’s a different story. I get what they’re saying- my life is out-of-control and I don’t have any say in the matter.
Is that true?
No. What appears to be random upsets aren’t actually. They are your unconscious way of creating events and opportunities to re-integrate the pieces of you that were separated in order to feel safe, accepted, or loved. The hiccup is that your brain made a little mark on a map when you felt that pain of separation. In its infinite wisdom (said tongue in cheek), it will do what it can to avoid the old hurt.
Where I live, we have had such a cold winter that the roads are in very bad condition. Years of patchwork maintenance is failing and there are some serious potholes and frost heaves (think the worst speed mountains- forget bumps- or dips possible a la Mother Nature). It only takes hitting these once to make a mental note that they need to be avoided. Next time on that road, you do your best to avoid it. That’s what our brain is doing with the hurt.
Now you have your brain working its GPS system while your soul is putting you on the direct path for disruption. You have a choice (well, an infinite number of them, these are the two obvious ones) to either resist/avoid or face it.
If you chose the first, you’re gonna feel out of control. You’ll probably get some anger and sadness (maybe depression) thrown in. It takes a lot of energy to resist. You know, like when you’re unbelievably tired, but are fighting to stay awake.
If you choose to face it, you have to be willing to get courageously honest with yourself and a little messy.
What am I really feeling here?
Is it true?
Who do I blame for this?
Am I trying to get back at someone by falling short of manifesting my full potential?
What behaviors, addictions, or self-destructive patterns do I use to prove that I have been wronged or mistreated?
What is the payoff for blaming others for my situation?
What do I get to pretend, deny, or avoid?
When we take responsibility for your life, letting go of the past hurts, we discover freedom. We are able to be present with that is happening and make more appropriate choices that allow us to align with the peace and joy that is (believe it or not) our birthright.
The first time you try this, you may find you’re not ready to let go. Most people aren’t. It isn’t until the payoff of letting go exceeds the payoff of staying stuck shifts that a person will be willing to go into those dark hiding spaces and bring out the pieces of themselves into the light with love, acceptance, and compassion. That is when you being being whole.