At 38, I was the most flexible I had been since high school. I was teaching yoga five days a week, pilates 3 days a week, running, and doing high intensity interval training. I felt great. One day on a very basic hike, I had a sharp pain in my hip. As we ascended, it became worse. By the time we were at the top, I wasn’t sure I could get back down. I limped my way slowly down the hill with the help of some friends. The pain diminished, but would sporadically return with no warning or pattern that I could follow to figure out the root cause.
My doctor thought it was bursitis and treated it with a cortisone shot before writing me a prescription for pain killers. That helped for exactly one day. The pain became increasingly debilitating until sitting, standing, laying for more than 10 minutes was impossible. The pain killers made my skin crawl.
Within 6 months, the pain had migrated into my right buttock and down my hamstring, before radiating into my pelvic floor. My body was clearly telling me something was wrong, but what?
I leaned into every bit of my training on the body that I’d had and decided to take matters into my own hands because, honestly, I could not imagine living a life of pain like I was feeling. I took the pain into meditation with me and just sat the question, “what is this?” I heard, “A pain in the ass,” which made me laugh but was literally true. That drew my attention to the whole area where I was feeling the pain. The root and sacral chakras are in this area. I wondered if they were out of balance?
I turned to the chakras- energy centers in and around the body. The seven major energy centers of the body run from the tailbone, just in front of and up the spine, through the center of the head and end at the crown of the head. Think of it like an electrical power grid- if one point goes down or has a surge, it can effect the whole system. You want the grid balanced and flowing smoothly to have optimal usage.
There are two chakras in the hip region. The root chakra is all about safety and security. The sacral chakra is about creativity, sensuality, money, and the relationships outside of our family. As I explored these two chakras, I realized if I were being courageously honest with myself, I was not feeling safe, secure, creative, and I was in a relationship that was not healthy for me. Further, I’d just spent three years diving deeper into limiting situations in my life in attempt to make a life I thought I was supposed to have while not believing I was worthy of that life. Yeah, messed up!
Worse, I noticed how much all my other chakras were being affected. My power was being drained by the situation (solar plexus chakra), how much my heart ached (heart chakra), my “voice” was limited (throat chakra), I didn’t trust myself (3rd eye chakra), and I was deeply disconnected, buried in shame and guilt about my life choices (crown chakra). I’d done this to myself and it sucked, but I also had the power to shift.
As I explored daily what it would take to feel safe and secure, what kind of relationship I really wanted to be in, and what kind of life I really wanted to live, things began to shift. After a little exploration about what “could” be wrong, my doctor change his diagnosis and sent me to a therapist who immediately “fixed” the problem (though the rehab took almost a year to recover from the 2 years of living with the injury). I relocated to a new home that was significantly safer and afforded me an opportunity to grow my business, and I left the relationship.
As Martha Graham once said, “The body never lies.”
When your heart, soul, mind and interior life aren’t congruent, you live a life of interior betrayal.
So often people seek the answers outside of themselves rather than getting quiet and trusting their own wisdom. If you listen to the wisdom within, you’ll often be guided to the person or lesson you need in that moment, the one who will hand you the keys, but you still have to open the door. No one can do it for you. Be willing to ask the tough questions of yourself and bring balance to the chakras. Here are seven questions to get you started:
(root) What would make me feel safe and secure?
(sacral) Where can I introduce more creativity and sensuality into my life?
(solar plexus) Who/what is draining my power/energy and am I willing to release that drain?
(heart) What would makes me feel loved? How can I bring more of that to me?
(throat) What peace am I trying to keep that keeps me from peace?
(3rd eye) Do I trust myself and my decision making?
(crown) Am I connected to and in alignment with my highest Self?
Try taking 10 minutes in the morning and again at night before bed to check in with your body. What feels open and balance? What feels contracted and imbalanced? Then be willing to ask the tough questions of the constricted, tender, or painful places to see what’s ready to be healed.
As you get to know yourself on a body-soul level, you begin to re-establish trust to your deepest inner wisdom. This brings clarity to the present moment and allows you to shift into a state of flow. As a good friend of mine says, “Where your focus goes, your energy flows.” Start focusing on optimal living and see what happens!
If you need help, I work with clients through a six week process to explore each chakra to establish a deeper, more intimate relationship with yourself. The exploration often opens up the flow of energy and love through every aspect of life in surprising (and delightful ways!). I’d love to help you. You can book a 15 minute discovery session here to see if this is right for you.