The dangerous slide from self-love and slide into self-loathing

In the quiet sattva predawn hours, I speak with an angel and journal. I do this by drawing a card from an angel deck, read its beautiful Light message and then ask the angel, “So what’s the shadow quality?” As I listen, I listen to beautiful, healing music through an app called Tennitus Help (if you suffer- and it is suffering- from ringing in the ears, check out this program!), sip coffee and simply be as the sun rises.

The light slowly illuminating the trees. I love these trees. All the shade of green that are now fading into the most brilliant color you can imagine. The sky from dark, midnight blue (remember that crayon?), to blue jean blue before eventually settling into its favorite Vermont sky blue (Crayon has never gotten VT or AZ sky blue correct).

This morning the angel and I discussed self-love and self-loathing… I know, not even a full cup in. We stop loving ourselves when someone makes us feel unlovable. The thing is, that person probably struggles with self-love for the same reason. Returning to self-love requires a willingness to accept the totality of our being. We are capable of everything and anything within the shadows and the light and never is there complete light or shadows within us, regardless of what we choose to believe.

I have played the unlovable game for a long time as a pat of my illusion. The abandonment I have feared for so long, I have discovered only happens by me- I abandon myself! Every time I choose to move away from what would be loving to myself (have 3 drinks instead of 1, work a little more instead of exercise, watch TV instead of invest in relationships, eat french fries instead of fresh vegetables, believe my doubt/fear instead of my knowing). These choices feed my illusion and allow me to experience limitations. Ah, limitations are FUN…kinda.

For a Divine, infinite being, they are new experiences and an exciting challenge to unravel and shine through with unconditional Love and Light. That starts by accepting what is- it’s all a choice, my choice- and loving that. As Mark Silver says, “There’s room for love, even here.” As we accept how we play in the limitations, we can start to shift from unawareness to awareness and make different choices. Empowering, for sure!

Let’s unravel the illusions together a bit. I have shared my vulnerability with you. I challenge you now, to share with me. What is one way you abandon yourself AND are you willing to love that part of you choosing to play in that limitation? Leave a comment below, please. I read and respond to all of them and I’d love to hold space for you to shift.