In order to shift into alignment with our true nature, we shift out of balance the old familiar patterns, beliefs, thoughts, and ways of being. From my personal experience (and watching many, many others experience something similar), when we make the choice to start being authentic and follow our dreams, we don’t just suddenly experience ease, grace, flow. In fact, typically the opposite.
See, when we chose to align with our truest, highest Self, we have to do some work. The beliefs and patterns that were created to keep us safe, accepted, and loved won’t just go away when we suddenly decided, “I’m done!” They were created for an important reason and our brain and ego need to know that there is something better or they won’t let go. It’s about survival instinct way down at the DNA level.
Let me give you an example. Let’s say you’ve spent years in a relationship. One day you get fed up and walk away. You start looking at what you really want in an ideal partner while getting to know yourself. Maybe you even do a little work on yourself- you start exercising and eating better, meditating, doing the things you love. You’re feeling GOOD, proud, excited, maybe even a little nervous. When the time comes to start dating again, you tell the world, “Hey look at me!”
And crickets. Maybe the only people who respond to your online dating ad are not people you want to date. All the people you try to flirt with when you’re out on the town with friends don’t flirt back.
Your good feelings tank. Your old doubts come back up. The fears drive the self-criticism loop in your head. It’s hard to move forward. It seems daunting.
I have come to realize, every single time I uplevel something in my life, I discover a new layer filled with out-dated survival mentality that needs reprogramming. Before I can move forward, I have to get still. I have to sit with the parts of me that were hurt enough to create their patterns and beliefs. I have to love on them and let them know they are safe now. That old threat is gone. It’s just us and I am not interested in creating more pain.
For me, I can point to ground zero, the exact moment when the foundation of survival was laid down. But I can’t, try as I might, just go there and heal. There are lots and lots and lots of other hurts built on top of that foundation.
When really big buildings need to be demolished, they’ll often be imploded. It’s fast. But it’s also messy and there’s lots of clean up. I have seen a few people do this with their own life. In the long run, it all works out. In the short run, it’s tough on everyone involved.
For the rest of us, we have to get good at identifying when we’ve hit another layer and we take the time to work with it, bring it into harmony. Each time brings us closer and closer to aligning with our truest, highest Self. And we get faster and faster at identifying and harmonizing the old hurt into beauty, strength, and light. But I wouldn’t say it’s ever really easy to stretch out of our comfort zone and stay willing to remain there in the discomfort. That takes guts and fortitude, courage and compassion, commitment and faith.
I think that’s why so many people choose stuck (aka familiar or comfortable) than authentic or self-love; it’s “easier.” Staying stuck is slow death. That’s not easy in my opinion. But it’s familiar. Whereas stretching is unfamiliar and that survival instinct will always kick in to play it safe. Playing safe isn’t fun or exciting. It isn’t meaty or juicy. It’s not why we’re here.
We have to do the work if we want to love ourselves and show up fully in this world. That’s why we’re here. Embrace the parts of you ready to come home, ready to align, ready to be whole. It’s the only way you’ll ever get to pot of gold under the proverbial rainbow. The world is waiting for you.