Soul Spring Cleaning

My partner was away at a conference. I made a decision. I would challenge myself to 4 days of spring cleaning, prompted by the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo. What fun is it to do alone, though? So I prompted a challenge to the Whole Being Community on Facebook.

Day 1: Clothes

I took every piece of clothing and dumped it on our bed. My job was to pick up each and every item and ask myself, “Does this bring me joy?” Yes = keep, no = discard. Pretty simple. It took a couple hours to get through and admittedly, I had 3 piles, one being “I don’t know” which I saved for last. I also had a few items that would require a second opinion on how they looked. I folded everything and sorted into like piles. Using the books method, I folded everything that would go in drawers to stand more upright (I had to look up some videos on this). Once I got everything folded correctly and placed in drawers, another couple hours had passed. In total, this first day was about 5 hours! I ended with 5 bags of clothes to be donated, though.

Day 2: books and papers

The books were fairly easy. I don’t own many anymore. My partner, however, could do well to go though his massive collection. Again, the criteria was, “Does this bring me joy?” I was able to release 15 books this way.

Next came papers. This is harder for me. I had taken a lot of courses and have lots of idea on paper. But I was able to downsize about half. The criteria is “Do I need this or not? And if so, is it immediate or permanent?” I still have a small pile that needs to be sorted for business. I took a small trashcan worth of papers to our massive fireplace and just burned them. I felt freer immediately!

Day 3: Kitchen

I cleaned out my fridge and pantry. This was GREAT. I wish I’d had time to do the storage container cabinet and even some of the dishes. Alas, end of season employee party turned out to be more fun than expected and I actually worked on the papers some more on day 3.

Day 4: bathroom

This wasn’t as hard for me, but there was some definite sorting that had to happen. I got rid of sample sizes and hair clips I don’t use. I organized what had been getting tossed around all winter.

The Outcome + The Truth

Someone asked me why I was doing this. The truth is that this winter hurt my soul. I felt isolated, lonely, and fearful that all the beliefs I have around unworthiness were coming true. I battled a very strange depression that even now, I don’t know how to explain beyond soul sucking. I know that there is something in me ready to spring forth. I feel like I have been grasping at anything around me as I sink into the darkness of this funk. I don’t feel like me. I have clothes that are primarily second and third hand that don’t fit and aren’t “me”, I have collections of advise that hasn’t worked despite how much I have tried, and I am ready to be me.

As I have shed more of the old me, the version I created to make everyone else accept me, and allow my new skin of being who I accept to grow, I feel tethered by all the shit surrounding me. I can’t take it. It sucks. So I wanted to clear it out. I need space to breathe, listen, download, assimilate, and transmit to the masses. I am committed to living a life that feels grace(filled), whole, and orgasmic. It made totally since to keep stuff based on, “Does this give me joy?”

I don’t want to abandon me anymore and I certainly don’t want to hide my Grace, Wholeness, or Orgasmic way of BEing. That means being courageously honest with myself about what I want and taking inspired action to make it happen.

What do you want? What are you willing to surrender? And what are you willing to do now to let your Soul have space to breathe, grow, and BE? Leave a comment below.