New Year, new goals. Planning big. Resolutions to be more authentic, happier. Focusing on work, health, relationships, being the best version of you. Getting your shit together. Sound familiar?
I’ve been on both sides of that- the person setting the intentions and plans and the person helping someone else reach their goals.
Along the way, I have learned some valuable lessons.
Know your why. Why do you want what you want? This is the first place where courageous honesty comes in. How do you expect to feel after you achieve that goal or intention? When you know that, it’s the feeling that drives your decisions and actions. For example, my first marathon (and second), I did it because it was hard and not that many people did it. I thought I’d be a badass. In both cases, after I crossed that finish line, I sank into a deep depression. I had a brief moment of excitement that I didn’t have to get up and run the next day, but that was it. I couldn’t even explain why I felt down. My last half marathon I did because I was told I’d never run again after an injury. I focused on gratitude. How every single run was a gift. I wanted to feel healthy and free when I was done. When I crossed that finish line, not only did I feel grateful and free, I felt elated, strong, proud, healthy and hopeful that whatever life threw my way I could meet it head on.
You will discover your upper limits. When you decide to grow and stretch yourself, you’re going to find your edge, or upper limit, of what you think your capable or worthy of experiencing. It happens on an unconscious level. You’re having a great day with your sweetie and then suddenly you find yourself picking a fight. Or you work your butt off, get the big opportunity for a gig, and promptly develop a cold.
Upper limits manifest as:
- blame and criticism
- getting sick
- hiding significant feelings
- not keeping agreements
- not speaking significant truths to the relevant people
- deflecting feedback, especially compliments.
When you catch yourself bumping into your edges, take a pause. Approach the obstacle with curiosity and wonder, “I wonder what’s really going on here?” Notice how you feel and how you want to feel. Focus on how you want to feel and start taking action. What is one small step you can take immediately to bring more of that feeling to fruition?
Write a new story. You energy flows where your focus goes. If you focus on what isn’t working, you get more confirmation and validation of what’s not working. You contract your energy. Everything is harder! Alternatively, if you focus on how you want to feel, what is working, and taking inspired action to build more of that, you expand. You open the floodgates to increasing opportunities to feel the way you want to feel.
Three steps. Deceptively simple, yet they can be rather challenging when you start to consciously take action. That is the final place courageous honesty comes in. What are you ready to stop doing in order to live more authentically? Where are you saying no that you would be better served saying yes (or no when you normally say yes)? Who are you seeking approval from on an unconscious level? In what ways are you seeking external validation when you aren’t validating yourself?
It comes down to making a decision- how long do you want to stay stuck? When you say enough and the actions align with the words, big changes happen quickly! If you need some help, reach out. We can do a 30 minute discovery session to see where you are, where you’re going, and what’s standing in the way. If you already know, we can work together to create an action plan and move through the upper limits. Here’s to a new year full of love and prosperity!