In the light (a poem for hope)

In the early morning hours of darkness,

I sit baring witness to the sky

as it fades from black to purple to deep blue

to that color of your favorite, old, faded jeans.

Watching as the cliffs go from shadow

to their brilliant autumn colors.

I listen to the geese converse

and the street activity increase.

The sirens, horns, and angry conversations

haven’t yet invaded my silence.

As I watch the light emerge out of darkness

I wonder how to be the light

for a world so imbalanced,

people so desperate to matter.

People fighting to know they matter

forgetting they always have mattered

because their voices have been silenced

told too many times –

“You’re not good enough”

in so many ways

sometimes not with words

but in the lack of equality –

in education

in finance

in justice.

Observing the law makers break the law

the wealthy earn off their backs

murders excused while their own are incarcerated.

The problems are too huge

too complicated

too painful

for me to solve.

I want to scream out about the injustice

the sheer lack of integrity

the lies, the blame, the hurt.

I want to be the voice

for all those too scared to speak.

And then the fear washes over me.

I long to return to the light

for the freedom and ease

of just being an atom again.

In response to my longing, I hear, “Not yet.”

I feel the answer –

love.

I find myself wondering

is love enough?

How can it possibly be enough?

And yet it is the only salve

I have to offer this world.

The sky turns pink.

A promise for a new day

new opportunities

to show up and love

to see, to acknowledge

to inspire, to motivate.

First, I have to do that for myself.

In the last remnants of darkness

I plea for help

for the strength to keep going

to love even those whose actions

are anything but lovable

for the courage to speak up

when it is time, for maximum impact

on the injustice,

but with the least impact on the victims

the support to remind me

that I matter

when it all gets too much

and I forget…

like now.