In the early morning hours of darkness,
I sit baring witness to the sky
as it fades from black to purple to deep blue
to that color of your favorite, old, faded jeans.
Watching as the cliffs go from shadow
to their brilliant autumn colors.
I listen to the geese converse
and the street activity increase.
The sirens, horns, and angry conversations
haven’t yet invaded my silence.
As I watch the light emerge out of darkness
I wonder how to be the light
for a world so imbalanced,
people so desperate to matter.
People fighting to know they matter
forgetting they always have mattered
because their voices have been silenced
told too many times –
“You’re not good enough”
in so many ways
sometimes not with words
but in the lack of equality –
Observing the law makers break the law
the wealthy earn off their backs
murders excused while their own are incarcerated.
The problems are too huge
for me to solve.
I want to scream out about the injustice
the sheer lack of integrity
the lies, the blame, the hurt.
I want to be the voice
for all those too scared to speak.
And then the fear washes over me.
I long to return to the light
for the freedom and ease
of just being an atom again.
In response to my longing, I hear, “Not yet.”
I feel the answer –
I find myself wondering
is love enough?
How can it possibly be enough?
And yet it is the only salve
I have to offer this world.
The sky turns pink.
A promise for a new day
to show up and love
to see, to acknowledge
to inspire, to motivate.
First, I have to do that for myself.
In the last remnants of darkness
I plea for help
for the strength to keep going
to love even those whose actions
are anything but lovable
for the courage to speak up
when it is time, for maximum impact
on the injustice,
but with the least impact on the victims
the support to remind me
that I matter
when it all gets too much
and I forget…