Screw surviving the holidays. I was thinking too darn small when I titled my Udemy course “Holiday Survival: bring on the peace!” Yesterday I was challenged to step up into my greatness and see the holidays through the lens of kindness and joy. So let’s talk about thriving through the holidays.

Take a moment to think about everything that stresses you out about the holidays. I asked some people on Facebook about this and made a list (I added a few, too):

• overextended schedules and guilt around turning invitations down
• gift giving
• finances
• dealing with difficult people
• all the yummy food (that isn’t really good for you)
• finding time for self-care
• travel
• year-end responsibilities
• getting enough sleep
• spending time with people you don’t enjoy (family, co-workers)
• alcohol induced stupidity

Yikes. I feel anxious just typing those! It is the opposite eduaimonia (human flourishing by living a virtuous life). We say yes when we mean no. We stop fueling our body for energy, feeding our emotions and pleasure instead. We give and overextend to be liked…or accepted.

Deep breath here. Is that really how you want to spend the next 6 weeks?

What does it take to shift from surviving to thriving?

If you simply want to survive, please take my Udemy course. It’s packed with tools to help you have more peace and joy this holiday season – from yoga to meditation to compassionate communication to saying no.

But if you want to thrive, take a pause right now and contemplate what really matters most to you in your life. Then, think about the types of things that others have done for you that matter the most.

Now, take what you thought about and make a commitment to yourself to only say yes to the invitations that you really want to go attend, spend time only with the people you want to spend time with, and only give gifts with true meaning (for everyone but the kids), knowing those don’t have to cost much and should not put you in debt! Check out these ideas.

If you’re not spending time with people you don’t enjoy or spending money frivolously, you can use your time and some of the savings on helping someone else – Angel Tree, Toys for Tots, food banks, homeless shelters, nursing homes. There’s lots and lots of people who would deeply appreciate a smile and conversation.

As my dear friend, author JingleBelle Jackson says #kindnessrocks. Start rocking YOUR kindness by starting with being kind to yourself. Honor what your heart truly desires. Take care of yourself. And then start sharing that kindness with others.