To feel fear creates vulnerability. The belief is that if you are vulnerable, you will appear weak, be taken advantage of or manipulated, leading to being hurt. When you feel insecure and try to pretend you are strong and in control, you project aggressiveness, even if that is not your intention, which makes the person on the receiving end defensive. Their defensiveness in turn signals to you that it is not safe to be vulnerable. Even if you are not vulnerable, you’re going to get hurt. Think about people who go on stage in front of strangers to share their story or wisdom. Do you consider them weak? Most people consider that brave. So what is the difference between their courageous vulnerability and that which you view as weak within yourself? Vulnerability builds connection, depth, and trust.
In order to move beyond the fear, you have to recognize that you are the energy of everything- shadow and light- and be willing to be present with all aspects of yourself. The following 3 steps will help you transform from paralyzing fear to using fear as a powerful ally.
1. Have a conversation with your fear. Ask it what it is trying to protect you from…. and keep asking! As you get a response, ask, “What else?” until there is truly nothing left.
2. Be willing to look at fears highest purpose for you. What steps could you take to possibly minimize or even eliminate those concerns from coming to fruition?
3. Use this information as a guide and nothing else. If fear is simply trying to help you be the best you can be, reduce or remove the possibility of feeling pain, than it’s worth listening to and taking the concern into consideration.
You likely will never even come close to reaching the point you’re being warned of through fear. It’s good to know there is a part of your psyche willing to have your back and look out for you. How you choose to proceed is entirely up to you.
How do YOU deal with fear?